Monday, 21 April 2014

hindi funny sexy adult jokes sms shayari


...Apna lund chusa diya Humne :Shayari???



Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,

Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.

Dekr Lalach Use 'ICE-CREAM' Ka,

Andhere Me Apna "LUND"chusa Diya Humne...



Post-woman Jokes???



Duniya me Postman to hote hain

Magar

Post woman nahi hoti...

Why..?

?

?

?

Qki wo

ek hi

Dellivery me

9 Mahine laga

Deti hain



...Meri gaand marlo...???



Man: Sex ho jaye?

Wife: No.

Man: Jewar le dunga.

Wife: No.

Man: Car le dunga.

Wife: No, No, No.

Beta so raha tha, beech me bola, Meri gaand marlo,

Cycle la dena



...School bag me condom???



Ek Din Santa Ne Socha Ki Beta School Ka Kaam Karta Hai Ya Nahi,
Ye Dekhne Ke Liye Pappu Ka School Bag Check Kiya To Useme Ek Condom Mila.

Santa Gusse Mein Aake: “ Kutte, Tuje Sharam Nahi Aati???
Is Umar Mein School Bag Mein Condom Rakhta Hai? ”

Pappu: “ To Fir Mai Kya Karu Bhonsdi Ke, Itni Chhoti Si Umar Mein Baap Ban Jau!!!



...chut kitani tight hai???



Girl:Meri Chut me ungli dalo.Dusri bhi dalo.

chalo ab pura hath dalo.ab dusra hath bhi dalo or tali bajao.

Boy:nahin bajti.

Girl:Dekha kitani tight hai???



...What is Balatkar..???



INDIA KI REET:

Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to pyaar.
Agar dost dilwaye to UPHAR.
Ghar wale delwaye to SANSKAR.
AUR
Hum apne aap le le to BALATKAR!!!



Bathroom me hila leta hu: Shayari???



Teri yaad aati hai to khada hojata hai,

Chaddi ke undar bada ho jata hai,
Tu nahi pass ye soch ke Dil behla leta hu,
Bathroom me jakar hath se hila leta hu!!!



...Shuru kar dabana???



Salim ne suhagrat ko kaha-"janeman, tere kadmo me rakh dunga sara khazana"

Anarkali- "teri maa ke bhosdi me gaya tera khazana, andar dal aur shuru kar dabana...



Adult professional talks/conversation???



Ladies/Girl ke sath log kaise baat karte hai???
Petrol Wala: Kitna Dalu?
Dhobi: Aap Kapde Nikal Ke Rakho, Mai Abhi aata hoon....
Xerox Wala: Aage Piche dono Taraf Se Karu, Ya Sirf ek Side Se...
Fruit wala : Kele ka size to dekho, dil khush ho jayega.....
Bank wala : So so ke du tu chalega ?
Auto wala : Aage se nahi jayega, piche se lu ?
Paper wala : Kal me neeche se dal ke gaya tha.



...Wah re chodane wale: Shayari???



Chodte chodte Subah Ho Gyi,
Lund Me Pad Gye Chaale,
.
.
.
Chut Fat K Gufa Ho Gyi
Wah Re Chodne Wale...!!!



...Lund ke aag laga di: Shayari???



Light ki gair maujudgi mein Galib farmate hai...
Hum toh yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,
Koi Behen ka lauda Mombatti samajh kar maachis laga gaya...



...Gaand fat gai :Shayari???



Raat bhar SMS kiya raat kat gai,
Raat bhar SMS kiya raat kat gai,

......
Subah jab Balance dekha G@nd fat gai


...Milta hai sirf hilane ko???



Kyaa diya kudrat ne jamane ko?
ek diya ghusane ko, do diya dabane ko,
par aaj kal ye sab kahan miltahai?
milta hai sirf hilane ko.



...gaand me bhi ungli kar aate:Shayari???



Arz kiya hai........
Agar asmaan tak aap ke hath jate,
Agar asmaan tak aap ke hath jate..
to Chand Sitare to kya, Pariyon ki Ga@nd me bhi aap ungli kar Aate...



...Kyu ki lund ke paas dimag nahi hota???



Jo khushi se karne de use karne se paap nahi hota,
kuwari ho to L@and kharab nahi hota,
hamesha Condom laga ke karnamere Dost...
kyu ki L@nd k paas Dimag nahi hota



Sexy adult Shayari???



Ladka bola :

Mujhe to apno ne loota hai, gairo mein kaha dum tha
Mujhe to apno ne loota hai, gairo mein kaha dum tha
Meri kasti doobi waha , jaha pani kum tha.

Ladki boli :

Tum to ho hi g@ndu, tumhari ga@nd mein kaha dum tha
Tum to ho hi ga@du, tumhari ga@d mein kaha dum tha
Waha kya gaand maraane gaye the, jaha pani kum tha.



Gaand maarega to tu kya nachega???



Boy ask a Girl: Vidai ke time ladkiyon roti kyu hai..??

- Girl: Bhosdi ke agar tujhe pata ho ki ghar se dur le jakar koi teri ga@nd maarega to tu kya nachega.



...panty lekar aata???



Ladka Apni Saali Se: Mein tumhare liye churiyan lekar aaya hun.

Saali : Jiju,Aap hi pehna dijiye.

Ladka: Mujhe tumhara response pehle malum hota to mein panty lekar aata.



...Mera to balance hi khatam hai???



Ek larki ko peeche se kisi ne ungli di aur chhup gaya
peche ek 65 sala baba tha.
LARKI:baba gee miscal ap ne ki?
Baba dhoti kol k bola mera to balanc hi khatam hai???



???Orat, husband and Aashiq



1 aurat apne Aashiq se chudwa rhi thi...
itne me uska Shohar agya Or Ashiq ko marne Laga..
Orat:
Or maro Bharwe ko
apni BV chudti nahi dusron ki BV chodne Aajate hen.

itne me Aashiq ko josh Aaya or wo Shohar ko marne Lga..
Orat:
Or zor se maro Dallay ko
Na khud chodta he
na ksi or ko chodny
deta hey.



???


BV ne kamez utari, sexy nzar sy pati ki traf dekhtay huay shalwar bhi utar ker boli
Pata hay na kya krna hay???
Husband - Han kapday dhonay hai



...Facebook effect in india???



Jab Se India Mein"Facebook"A –aya
hai.
.
.
Bohat sari Changes Hui hai.
.
.
1. Sadko Pe Jahgda Bandh, Ab Pages
Pe Gali Galonch Hotihai.
.
.
2. Couples Garden Chorrh k FB
inbox Mein Milte hai.. And Smiles
KisSes Replaced by Emotions..
Muwaahhh
Ha ha he..
Rofl
Lolz Lmao
etc !
.
.

3. Ab Politcals Social Issues
facebook Pe Aa gaye ...
.
.
4. Ladke Ab Nukkadh Pe Nahi,
Pages Pe Ladkiyan Chedte hai ...
.
.
JAI HO FACEBOOK Padhega India,
Tab He Toh Badhega India



...meri to koi beti hi nahi hay???



Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saza Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne Us Se Puchha
Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish ??
. . Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi Blackbery Bold, Apple I- Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana

Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe,
Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi Faisla Doge Mujhe Manjoor Hoga'
.
.
.
.
Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola:“ abe saale Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai,

Taang Do haramkhorr Ko Abhi Ke Abhi"


...Oye! marega kya???



1 ladki raste se jaa rahi thi,side
se achanak bike nikli..!
.
.
.
. Ladki: Abey! Oye maarega kya ?
.
.
.
.
. .me : mood to nahi hai, par degi to
maar loonga...."


...bacche ho jate hai???



Teacher: is ka passive voice banao

”Sunsan Jagho Par Baccho ke Sath Hadse ho jate he”

student:sunsan jagho par hone wale hadso se bacche ho jate hai.


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